A man is seeking to join the Glasgow Police force.
The Sergeant doing the interview says:
"Your qualifications all look good,
but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, he says:
"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants,
six drug dealers, six extremists, and a rabbit"
The man being interviewed asks, "Why the rabbit?"
"Excellent" says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in
"Jesus Loves You."
Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"No, just here for a few days."