Welcome guest, is this your first visit? Create Account now to join.
  • Login:

Welcome to the NZ Hunting and Shooting Forums.

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.

Black Watch Alpine


User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 12 of 12
Like Tree13Likes
  • 1 Post By Roy Lehndorf
  • 1 Post By Spook
  • 2 Post By Roy Lehndorf
  • 2 Post By Maca49
  • 2 Post By Pengy
  • 1 Post By Maca49
  • 2 Post By Rushy
  • 1 Post By veitnamcam
  • 1 Post By ishoot10s

Thread: Ditti's

  1. #1
    Member Roy Lehndorf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Tauranga
    Posts
    283

    Ditti's

    Cleaning out some stuff the other day and found a caption I wrote down after my poppas 80th birthday over 20 years ago...after all the formalities where over and it was only the "adults" and us teenage grand kids......with a nice single malt in his hand he banged out this stunner......hes passed away but this still cracks me up.....

    From poppa Bob......

    "Under a wallowing Blue Gum.....the Australian bush man sat..............

    .................amusing himself by Abusing himself ...by making a C%&T of his Hat................................!!!!


    ....and yours...........?
    Toby likes this.
    Work Just Gets In The Way

  2. #2
    Member Spook's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Mt Motutapere/Northern Alps
    Posts
    2,063
    A farmer I worked for 45 years ago taught me this, and I have no idea why I remember it..."said the good bad girl to the bad good girl, gee it's hard to be good, said the bad good girl to the good bad girl, it's got to be hard to be any good"
    Roy Lehndorf likes this.
    Which is worse, ignorance or apathy...I don't know and don't care.

  3. #3
    Member Roy Lehndorf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Tauranga
    Posts
    283
    crack up.................the only other one I remember is from the side of a Dunny at 6 cross camp

    "those who write on wooden walls ...
    ...should roll there shit in little balls....
    'those who read these words of wit......
    ...should eat those little balls of shit.............

    ..........
    Spook and Pengy like this.
    Work Just Gets In The Way

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    BOP
    Posts
    16,724
    One I remember from my apprenticeship days on the bog wall was
    Be a man not a fool, pull the chain and not your tool!
    Pengy and Roy Lehndorf like this.
    Boom, cough,cough,cough

  5. #5
    Member Pengy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Up in da hills somewhere near Nelson
    Posts
    8,410
    Advice from my big brother when I was 17.
    "Dont make love by the garden gate. Love is blind....but the neighbours aint"
    veitnamcam and Roy Lehndorf like this.
    Forgotmaboltagain+1

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    BOP
    Posts
    16,724
    I was taking a young girl out many years ago, and her old man out of the blue told me
    " you don't look at the mantle piece when you stoking the fire"
    Think he just wanted to see what colour my face went!
    Pengy likes this.
    Boom, cough,cough,cough

  7. #7
    Member Roy Lehndorf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Tauranga
    Posts
    283
    Dad just reminded me of one from the freezing works

    ....There was a lady from kinleath.......
    ......who would pull back foreskins with her teeth.....

    ......she did not for pleasure or pride...............
    ...............But to get to the cheese underneath...!!!!!!!
    Work Just Gets In The Way

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    BOP
    Posts
    16,724
    There was a young girl from Maine
    Who claimed she had a man on the brain
    You could tell from the view, of the way her waist grew
    It was not on her brain he had lain
    Boom, cough,cough,cough

  9. #9
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Nor West of Auckland on the true right of the Kaipara River
    Posts
    27,848
    Mary had a little hen,
    She kept it in a bucket,
    Every time she let it out
    The rooster used to ............. (Chase it around the yard and peck its neck). Ha ha ha ha you all thought I was going to say fuck it. Ha ha ha ha
    Pengy and Toby like this.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms

  10. #10
    Almost literate. veitnamcam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Nelson
    Posts
    20,046
    Little miss muffet sat on her tuffit her knickers all tattered and torn.
    But it wasn't a spider that sat down beside her it was little boy blue with his horn.
    Pengy likes this.
    "Hunting and fishing" fucking over licenced firearms owners since ages ago.

  11. #11
    Load....Action....Instant ....Watch and Shoot! ishoot10s's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    NW of the true capital...
    Posts
    1,366
    From my old schoolmate Rudi...

    There was a young girl from Azores
    Whose box was covered in sores
    Not even the dogs in the street
    Would eat the green meat
    That hung in festoons from her drawers....


    And this one from the 5 Squadron hanger bog in 1981...

    The was a young man from Nantucket
    Whose cock was so long he could suck it
    He sad with a grin
    While wiping his chin
    If my ear was a c?nt
    I could f?ck it...
    Pengy likes this.
    10MRT shooters do it 60 times, in two directions and at two speeds.

  12. #12
    Member Tristan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Gisborne
    Posts
    163
    found this written on my school desk when i was around 12... good advice.

    Be a man not a flower, have a f#$k and feel the power!

 

 

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Welcome to NZ Hunting and Shooting Forums! We see you're new here, or arn't logged in. Create an account, and Login for full access including our FREE BUY and SELL section Register NOW!!