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Thread: married to a kiwi Discussion 2 it all started in Bora Bora

  1. #1
    Member Mrs Sideshow's Avatar
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    married to a kiwi Discussion 2 it all started in Bora Bora

    Discussion 2: It all started in Bora Bora

    In fact, it all started in Bora Bora. When we got married ten years ago, his parents and his sister flew over from New Zealand to attend our wedding in Mallorca. His parents had never been to Europe and so it didn’t seem fair to disappear on a honeymoon straight after the wedding, but instead we invited them back to our flat in London. In hindsight, that was a mistake. We were on such a high after the wedding that it would have been nice to disappear, just the two of us, to savour the memories of all the different parties we had during that week, to talk about our friends who had flown in from all over the world, to laugh at all the silly things we did. But then again, our in-laws had flown a hell of a long way and we wanted to show them London. So we came back to the city in the middle of the night after one of those cheap and cheerful flights that sees you arrive at some godforsaken hour when the tube has stopped running and you have to take the awful nightbus. But I am digressing.

    Seeing that we never had a honeymoon, I decided that we would have one when we celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. It was always very clear in my mind that we would go to Bora Bora, which sounded so exotic and which, because of its unique location in the middle of the South Pacific, was like a magnet to me.
    I have always been fascinated by anything that involves many hours of travelling to get to, hence it didn’t really come as a surprise that I ended up marrying a Kiwi. I did want to marry an Australian, as I prefer the weather in Australia and I absolutely love Sydney, but even though I spent some time over there, I found Australian men just had no guts when it came to chatting up a girl. I mean seriously, I came from France where you couldn’t even get a foot in the door of a bar without having at least two or three guys rush towards you. In Australia, when a girl goes into the bar, the guys will clock her and then they will do all this male shoving and slapping on shoulders, whilst drowning one beer after another. They will throw you the odd look and while it’s obvious they like you, do you think they will make a move? Never. They will just order another beer and then go all weird if you actually get up and talk to them.

    My Kiwi husband on the other hand did not waste a second once he laid eyes on me in the bar in Africa. In fact, the attention he was paying me was actually really annoying. He kept asking me if I wanted beer and I just don’t like the stuff. I have since found out that Kiwis in general will never trust anyone who doesn’t like beer, but then, all I could think of was how I was going to go on travelling. What my Kiwi husband didn’t know then was that I had just been told that some idiot had stolen my car in London and used it to rob two petrol stations. My flatmate, who had been sleeping fitfully alongside his new girlfriend was less than impressed when our flat was stormed by some heavily armed police demanding where I was. His reply: “She’s in Africa”, did apparently not go down well.

    Anyway, that said, my car was gone and I was in a bar in Africa where some Kiwi was desperately trying to pour beer down my throat. Also, when I did tell him about my car trouble, he went into fits of laughter because he thought it absolutely hilarious that my car was stolen in London, which was supposed to be safe, while I was backpacking in Africa, which was considered not safe. Needless to say, he didn’t particularly endear himself to me. But then then next day, he did save me from drowning in the Nile and so I married him. And this is how we ended up ten years later in Bora Bora.

  2. #2
    Member scotty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Sideshow View Post
    Discussion 2: It all started in Bora Bora

    In fact, it all started in Bora Bora. When we got married ten years ago, his parents and his sister flew over from New Zealand to attend our wedding in Mallorca. His parents had never been to Europe and so it didn’t seem fair to disappear on a honeymoon straight after the wedding, but instead we invited them back to our flat in London. In hindsight, that was a mistake. We were on such a high after the wedding that it would have been nice to disappear, just the two of us, to savour the memories of all the different parties we had during that week, to talk about our friends who had flown in from all over the world, to laugh at all the silly things we did. But then again, our in-laws had flown a hell of a long way and we wanted to show them London. So we came back to the city in the middle of the night after one of those cheap and cheerful flights that sees you arrive at some godforsaken hour when the tube has stopped running and you have to take the awful nightbus. But I am digressing.

    Seeing that we never had a honeymoon, I decided that we would have one when we celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. It was always very clear in my mind that we would go to Bora Bora, which sounded so exotic and which, because of its unique location in the middle of the South Pacific, was like a magnet to me.
    I have always been fascinated by anything that involves many hours of travelling to get to, hence it didn’t really come as a surprise that I ended up marrying a Kiwi. I did want to marry an Australian, as I prefer the weather in Australia and I absolutely love Sydney, but even though I spent some time over there, I found Australian men just had no guts when it came to chatting up a girl. I mean seriously, I came from France where you couldn’t even get a foot in the door of a bar without having at least two or three guys rush towards you. In Australia, when a girl goes into the bar, the guys will clock her and then they will do all this male shoving and slapping on shoulders, whilst drowning one beer after another. They will throw you the odd look and while it’s obvious they like you, do you think they will make a move? Never. They will just order another beer and then go all weird if you actually get up and talk to them.

    My Kiwi husband on the other hand did not waste a second once he laid eyes on me in the bar in Africa. In fact, the attention he was paying me was actually really annoying. He kept asking me if I wanted beer and I just don’t like the stuff. I have since found out that Kiwis in general will never trust anyone who doesn’t like beer, but then, all I could think of was how I was going to go on travelling. What my Kiwi husband didn’t know then was that I had just been told that some idiot had stolen my car in London and used it to rob two petrol stations. My flatmate, who had been sleeping fitfully alongside his new girlfriend was less than impressed when our flat was stormed by some heavily armed police demanding where I was. His reply: “She’s in Africa”, did apparently not go down well.

    Anyway, that said, my car was gone and I was in a bar in Africa where some Kiwi was desperately trying to pour beer down my throat. Also, when I did tell him about my car trouble, he went into fits of laughter because he thought it absolutely hilarious that my car was stolen in London, which was supposed to be safe, while I was backpacking in Africa, which was considered not safe. Needless to say, he didn’t particularly endear himself to me. But then then next day, he did save me from drowning in the Nile and so I married him. And this is how we ended up ten years later in Bora Bora.
    important details left out ....... what beer were you drinking in africa and what sort of car was it that got stolen......

  3. #3
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    @scotty the beer was Nile Special Name:  IMG_0327.JPG
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    You had to check each bottle as a few looked as though they really had the Nile in them
    The car was a right hand drive red Honda Civic with German plates. Why you would chose this for a ram raid who knows? But then they did do two so I'm guessing they don't build em like they used too
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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sideshow View Post
    @scotty the beer was Nile Special Attachment 107041

    The car was a right hand drive red Honda Civic with German plates
    and thats why its hilarious ......any self respecting sth auckland ram raider knows you steal a ute or a van..................or better yet a tow truck
    poor little honda .....probably had a few goes at it

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sideshow View Post
    @scotty the beer was Nile Special Attachment 107041
    You had to check each bottle as a few looked as though they really had the Nile in them
    The car was a right hand drive red Honda Civic with German plates. Why you would chose this for a ram raid who knows? But then they did do two so I'm guessing they don't build em like they used too
    I like your Mrs stories. You hero you.
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    That's a good enough reason to marry Sideshow I would think. Good story, should be some good ones coming up.
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    Bonjour Mme Sideshow.
    Mes hommages ŕ vous , tout d'abord chčre Madame.
    If you decide not to follow Mr Sideshow in Stewart Island, and he is not going to follow you in bora bora , then the only place you two would agree with would be New Caledonia. You will be in Tropical waters and Monsieur would be chasing Rusa deer on the hills behind.

    But i should still suggest that you did Stewart island with him. It is a unique place and probably the easiest way to see easily real kiwis.
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    @Mrs Sideshow

    Fabulous story. Suffered a severe belly cramp from laughing so much.
    Daren't show it to my missus of 46yrs - she'll think we're 'stick in the mud' type people.
    We lived in Aussie for 28 years (Western Australia), lived the lifestyle and still came back to semi-rural Wairarapa.
    Neither of us come from the 'Rapa (I'm Far North and she's Bay of Plenty - think Sulphur Town).
    Love it back HOME.
    Go to Stewart Island.
    I await the continuing adventure story
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    You know, Mrs @Sideshow, we your rapidly growing reader fanbase - if I may speak on their behalf - would be happy to see your Stuart Island Diary printed in a Hunting Magazine. So please email some editors before you depart, Britain, France and NZ. I will buy it
    gadgetman and Mrs Sideshow like this.
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  10. #10
    Member Sideshow's Avatar
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    Thanks For all the posts so far guys Mrs Sideshow has more to come so the story dose continue...if your still keen
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sideshow View Post
    Thanks For all the posts so far guys Mrs Sideshow has more to come so the story dose continue...if your still keen
    Absolutely looking forward to it. So is Mrs gadget.

    And you do realise that, just because you stop someone drowning, you don't have to marry them. I certainly didn't marry any of the blokes I rescued, ... wait, I think I know where I might have gone wrong ...
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by gadgetman View Post
    Absolutely looking forward to it. So is Mrs gadget.

    And you do realise that, just because you stop someone drowning, you don't have to marry them. I certainly didn't marry any of the blokes I rescued, ... wait, I think I know where I might have gone wrong ...
    Well mine was wearing a very nice Bikini....so maybe if your victims had you may have made that jump too
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sideshow View Post
    Well mine was wearing a very nice Bikini....so maybe if your victims had you may have made that jump too
    Yeah, the budgie smugglers just didn't really do it for me.
    There are only three types of people in this world. Those that can count, and those that can't!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by gadgetman View Post
    Yeah, the budgie smugglers just didn't really do it for me.

    That’s why I got one minus the budgies anyway moving on can’t be hijacking the thread ah there might be a story in here about those days of yore....if we ask Mrs Sideshow nicely
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  15. #15
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    This is great. I will point out now that the Nile is way longer and contains more turds than the Waikato. As you were..
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