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Thread: Birds...no,pet ones

  1. #1
    Member marky123's Avatar
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    Birds...no,pet ones

    Howdy
    I want a cockatoo,I want to teach it to swear.
    Any tips please?
    MARK

  2. #2
    Member EeeBees's Avatar
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    Hi Mark, years ago there were two cockatoos in the house ... they drove me mad ... very destructive birds ... they can break a finger with their beaks ... the male bird must have, at sometime, been a pet in a truck yard because he would "talk" cb lingo ... but they are kind of humourous ... a guy, intoxicated, ran his car off the road and came up to house, it was really late in the evening ... the birds were in a large outdoor cage ... the bird said "what the fck do you want" ... the guy was pounding on the door ... I gave him a coffee and told him who it was who had spoken to him ... to teach them to talk it is simply repetitive ... and once they do get to talk you will wish you never did!!!
    stingray, Gibo and Blisters like this.
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  3. #3
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    yes dont get one they live for a bloody long time.get a male cockatiel and keep it on its own .keep repeating what you want it to say it will learn but only if you only have one. the last one we had lived for 24 years, cockatoos can live near 80 years and cost an arm and a leg to buy.

  4. #4
    Member Beavis's Avatar
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    Birds are fairly easy to teach to say things. Wife has a Lorikeet, it's a cunt of an animal. Fiercely loyal to her. Picks up all kinds of things.

  5. #5
    Member Pengy's Avatar
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    I have had a couple of African greys over the years. The first one came to us due to a marriage split by friends. He was bloody hilarious. Norman Stanley was his name (think about that one), and he unfortunately died on my lap from a mystery illness.
    The next one we got as a chick and although she was a bit distructive, she was good company. Unfortunately she decided that the only human she would mimick was me.
    WE had to rehome her when moving down here, as the NZ authorities refused to let us bring her.
    gadgetman and Tommy like this.
    Forgotmaboltagain+1

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pengy View Post
    I have had a couple of African greys over the years. The first one came to us due to a marriage split by friends. He was bloody hilarious. Norman Stanley was his name (think about that one), and he unfortunately died on my lap from a mystery illness.
    The next one we got as a chick and although she was a bit distructive, she was good company. Unfortunately she decided that the only human she would mimick was me.
    WE had to rehome her when moving down here, as the NZ authorities refused to let us bring her.
    A parrot mimicking a penguin, that would be a laugh.
    199p, stingray, mikee and 4 others like this.
    Overkill is still dead.

  7. #7
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7mmwsm View Post
    A parrot mimicking a penguin, that would be a laugh.
    Yes particularly waddling across its perch flapping its wings.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beavis View Post
    Birds are fairly easy to teach to say things. Wife has a Lorikeet, it's a cunt of an animal. Fiercely loyal to her. Picks up all kinds of things.
    aye beavis so true .youngest daughter and partner bought one which is housed at our place .jesus wept on song batman"aka batty'would have a corpse reaching for the whiskey bottle.
    other daughter tells sons dog to sit only to hear an echo coming from the cage .Iwas making an eraly morning cuppa recently when from under the cover comes "ringring;hello fuckyou ring ring .............daughter is only one who can handle him -owner daughter is terrified -prick has a shagnasty streak and his bite is something else.
    hes as mad as a cut snake -kids say baty dance and hes alldisco on his perch..then its baty baty ...boo as he leaps up spreads his wings and makes a complete dork of himself.
    sons staffy got too inquisitive one morning nose too close to the cage -yup munter paid the pricebetween the bars a beak full of staffy nose.the catssometimes sit on top of his cage -no more a taillbetween bars makes a good snack,then you sit in the corner quietly sniggering as a bloody furious feline looks hopelessly for a opening to square the ledger.
    Ro gets the wee prick out and ive seen him hop across the floor and staunch cats out.
    gadget/timerider have both witnessed the mad hua in action.
    dirty bugger too-food gets flung out of cage -food dropped in his bath etc etc.
    stingray likes this.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rushy View Post
    Yes particularly waddling across its perch flapping its wings.
    I can imagine the penguin would have mimicked the parrot on the odd occasion too.
    Overkill is still dead.

  10. #10
    Gold member Pointer's Avatar
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    I was going to say the same thing as above. One, they are a long term commitment, they live for decades. Secondly once they have learned to swear that's it for life. It's a good novelty to start with but a fowl mouthed parrot gets old real quick. Knew one called Elvis with a mouth filthier than a truck stop hooker - amusing for 5 minutes, embarrassing after that.
    Munsey, stingray and Pengy like this.

  11. #11
    Member marky123's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the tips

  12. #12
    Member gadgetman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pengy View Post
    Norman Stanley
    A definite favourite in our household growing up. Even the troops here know of it. 'er Godber.
    Pengy likes this.
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  13. #13
    Member gadgetman's Avatar
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    We had a budgie that learned to talk as my older brothers voice was breaking so it mimicked everyone telling him to shut up. "Arh, shut up Ali!"
    stingray likes this.
    There are only three types of people in this world. Those that can count, and those that can't!

  14. #14
    Sending it Gibo's Avatar
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    Grew up with cockatoos...expect 70 odd years out of one, that's far more than a lot of marriages

    One of ours was a raging alcoholic
    Pengy, kotuku and Tommy like this.

  15. #15
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    a guy goes into a pet shop and while in there a cockatoo says hello, wow he says a talking bird
    the bird replies that he can talk in 3 languages and on any subject, the man is amazed and asks how much he costs being so articulate.
    only $20 the bird replies as he is disabled and was born with no legs.
    thats amazing, but how do you stay on your perch he asks, well replies the bird i just wrap my willy around the perch and hold on.
    well for $20 he buys the bird and spends many a night talking about literature, the arts and all things with the bird.
    one day he comes home and the bird tells him he has bad news for him. he tells him that his wife is having an affair.
    the man asks how do you know? and the bird replies that earlier in the day a man came in and kissed his wife, then after a few minutes he was caressing her breasts and slowly undressing her then she was undressing him while still furiously kissing him
    then what happened!! ??? he asks
    ..................
    dunno said the cockatoo, i got an erection and fell off my perch
    gadgetman and Ryan_Songhurst like this.

 

 

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