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Thread: Campfire humour: ALL JOKES IN THIS THREAD PLEASE

  1. #19171
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  2. #19172
    Member Mr Browning's Avatar
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    NRT, tetawa, PERRISCICABA and 3 others like this.
    GUN CONTROL IS A TIGHT 5-SHOT GROUP.

  3. #19173
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Browning View Post
    Reminds me of something a group of us saw in Cambodia
    We were walking around Phenom Penn when we stumbled into an open air rock concert at a park near the river.
    We hung around for a while and one of the girls we were with suddenly swore and told us to look behind.
    there was a bloke with a popcorn vending cart. old school type, 2 big wheels, handles at the back for pushing it around.
    anyway, this popcorn bloke was sitting on a three legged stool looking at the dancers on stage with his hand down his pants having a good old tug.
    we couldn't believe what we were seeing. he was tucked in a bit behind it, so i doubt any others the crowd could see what he was up to.
    anyway, at some stage he 'reached critical mass', pulled his hand out of his pants, wiped his handd on his shirt,
    stood up and started scooping popcorn into bags with that particular hand and started selling the bags to people on the other side of the cart.
    tru story. have never eaten popcorn since
    tetawa, Maca49, buell984 and 2 others like this.

  4. #19174
    Member 257weatherby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scooby View Post
    Reminds me of something a group of us saw in Cambodia
    We were walking around Phenom Penn when we stumbled into an open air rock concert at a park near the river.
    We hung around for a while and one of the girls we were with suddenly swore and told us to look behind.
    there was a bloke with a popcorn vending cart. old school type, 2 big wheels, handles at the back for pushing it around.
    anyway, this popcorn bloke was sitting on a three legged stool looking at the dancers on stage with his hand down his pants having a good old tug.
    we couldn't believe what we were seeing. he was tucked in a bit behind it, so i doubt any others the crowd could see what he was up to.
    anyway, at some stage he 'reached critical mass', pulled his hand out of his pants, wiped his handd on his shirt,
    stood up and started scooping popcorn into bags with that particular hand and started selling the bags to people on the other side of the cart.
    tru story. have never eaten popcorn since
    I'm laughing, but no way I'm gonna give that a "like"!!
    Scooby, Maca49, Beaker and 2 others like this.

  5. #19175
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  6. #19176
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    A Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
    While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.
    He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
    He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
    A Wing Commander chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.
    A Squadron Leader said it was 50-50%.
    A Flight Lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
    There being no consensus, the Group Captain turned to the Corporal who was in charge of making the coffee.
    What was his opinion?
    Without any hesitation, the young Corporal responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
    The Group Captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
    "Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
    The room fell silent...God Bless the lower ranks.
    Nil durum volenti !!

  7. #19177
    Member Max Headroom's Avatar
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    RIP Garry S. 23/08/19

  8. #19178
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Browning View Post
    Where the hell did you think the mayonnaise was kept.

  9. #19179
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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidGunn View Post
    Where the hell did you think the mayonnaise was kept.
    That's a bit close to home.
    I was shearing in Western Australia in the eighties. About two hours east of Perth. When we went to Perth to get on the turps we would stop a the Midlands MacDonalds for a feed on the way home. The boss was reading the paper at lunch time one day, and the manager at "our" Maccas got himself in the court pages for doing stuff in the mayonnaise. Boss (aussie) was a bit pissed off. Reckoned he quite liked their mayo.
    Overkill is still dead.

  10. #19180
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7mmwsm View Post
    That's a bit close to home.
    I was shearing in Western Australia in the eighties. About two hours east of Perth. When we went to Perth to get on the turps we would stop a the Midlands MacDonalds for a feed on the way home. The boss was reading the paper at lunch time one day, and the manager at "our" Maccas got himself in the court pages for doing stuff in the mayonnaise. Boss (aussie) was a bit pissed off. Reckoned he quite liked their mayo.
    dfuck was it westcoast mayo -itsmade to resemble a mob of whitebait swimming up river if ya get my meaning

  11. #19181
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    Quote Originally Posted by kotuku View Post
    dfuck was it westcoast mayo -itsmade to resemble a mob of whitebait swimming up river if ya get my meaning
    I keep telling myself it didn't happen on the days I was there. Didn't notice any eyeballs looking out of the mayo. But I didn't have any reason to suspect there would be.
    Overkill is still dead.

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    Please excuse spelling, as finger speed is sometimes behind brain spped........ Or maybe the other wayy.....

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    veitnamcam, R93, buell984 and 3 others like this.

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    buell984 likes this.

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