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Thread: Campfire humour: ALL JOKES IN THIS THREAD PLEASE

  1. #13411
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    veitnamcam and Micky Duck like this.

  2. #13412
    Member Fawls's Avatar
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    Fishing Humour

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  3. #13413
    Member sako75's Avatar
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  4. #13414
    Member Fawls's Avatar
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    gadgetman and buell984 like this.

  5. #13415
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    Two fish sitting in a tank...

    Fish #1: "Bro do you know how to drive this thing?"

    Fish #2: "Fuck no, I can't even reach the pedals".
    veitnamcam and Fawls like this.

  6. #13416
    Almost literate. veitnamcam's Avatar
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    Hey @Fawls I have done this one before

    Sent from my SM-G390Y using Tapatalk
    sako75, gadgetman, Beaker and 7 others like this.
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire

    Chicken Intolerant.

  7. #13417
    Member Fawls's Avatar
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    IDIOT SIGHTING:
    We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

    We haven't used Sears repair since.

    IDIOT SIGHTING:

    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'20The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!' I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

    >From Kingman , KS

    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
    From Kansas City

    IDIOT SIGHTING:
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' T o which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
    'That's why we ask.'

    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


    IDIOT SIGHTING :
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

    ;
    IDIOT SIGHTING : ;
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

    IDIOT SIGHTING

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger si de, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

  8. #13418
    Sending it Gibo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by veitnamcam View Post
    Hey @Fawls I have done this one before

    Sent from my SM-G390Y using Tapatalk
    What the fuck are you wearing? Pest much
    kiwijames, Munsey, Pengy and 1 others like this.

  9. #13419
    Almost literate. veitnamcam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gibo View Post
    What the fuck are you wearing? Pest much
    Boxers and a gill dingy waterproof jacket...pretty standard surfcasting gear I would have thought?

    Sent from my SM-A320Y using Tapatalk
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire

    Chicken Intolerant.

  10. #13420
    Sending it Gibo's Avatar
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    Shorts, shorts, shorts, UNDIES
    Definitely not standard issue up here mate

  11. #13421
    Almost literate. veitnamcam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gibo View Post
    Shorts, shorts, shorts, UNDIES
    Definitely not standard issue up here mate
    Living out the end of a sand spit for weeks on end I didnt have a lot of clothes to go getting wet and it was too cold for shorts....fishing with a workmate going nude from the waste down wasnt an option so it was undies fishing for weeks.
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire

    Chicken Intolerant.

  12. #13422
    MSL
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    I reckon that’s standard kit for life really
    veitnamcam and gadgetman like this.

  13. #13423
    Member sako75's Avatar
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  14. #13424
    Member Steve123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gibo View Post
    Shorts, shorts, shorts, UNDIES
    Definitely not standard issue up here mate
    The sea is visible, There Togs

  15. #13425
    Member Maca49's Avatar
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    wsm junkie and 308 like this.

 

 

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