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  • 3 Post By hunter308

Thread: Christmas dinner

  1. #1
    Member hunter308's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012

    Christmas dinner

    ~~How to cook a Turkey~~
    Step 1: Go buy a turkey
    Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
    Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
    Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
    Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
    Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
    Step 7: Turn oven the on
    Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
    Step 9: Turk the bastey
    Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
    Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
    Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
    Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
    Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
    Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
    Step 16: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
    Step 17: Turk the carvey
    Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
    Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
    Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out.

    ~~How to cook the fruitcake~~
    Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
    Take a large bowl.
    Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
    Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat if necessary.
    Turn on the electric mixer.
    Beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
    Add 1 tsp sugar and beat again.
    Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.
    Turn off the mixer.
    Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
    Mix on the turner.
    If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
    Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
    Next, sift the cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.
    Check the whiskey again.
    Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
    Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
    Grease the oven.
    Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
    Don't forget to beat off the turner.
    Throw the bowl out of the window.
    Check the whiskey again.
    Go to bed. Who the fuck likes fruitcake anyway?
    Spanners, veitnamcam and Dougie like this.

    To be a Human is to be an Alien, ask the animals, We invade this world and we are killing it, we are destroying the earth and nobody gives a fuck except for the animals

  2. #2
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Nor West of Auckland on the true right of the Kaipara River
    Chrerry Mistmas and scotch the pass.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms



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