Welcome guest, is this your first visit? Create Account now to join.
  • Login:

Welcome to the NZ Hunting and Shooting Forums.

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.

Alpine Black Watch


User Tag List

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 22
Like Tree70Likes

Thread: Hunting laughs, taking the piss, humour at mates expense :)

  1. #1
    Caretaker
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Hawkes Bay
    Posts
    6,339

    Hunting laughs, taking the piss, humour at mates expense :)

    Humorous times with good mates is the best, hunting provides some of the most exceptional laughter I have ever had and continue to

    I can recall many times trying to breathe whilst consumed by mirth

    A month ago I crossed a creek then walking through long Grass exclaimed to my hunting mate to be careful as there's holes around this river flat, then went face down into the long grass with a branch holding my boot

    Who else laughs till they hurt whilst being in the outdoors ?

    This made me smile

    http://youtu.be/eVZnBmuQjRY
    gadgetman likes this.
    A big fast bullet beats a little fast bullet every time

  2. #2
    Member gadgetman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Christchurch
    Posts
    14,817
    Mate @kotuku has provided a few good moments, but my lips are sealed. Thankfully this is the internet and my fingers are free to tattle.

    One memorable was on the wet coast on a duck hunting weekend organised by F&G. We were sneaking along like a pair of rampaging elephants and came across a little backwater with a couple of ducks that promptly took to flight. We picked one each and they dropped into a paddock. We carefully made our way across and quickly located mine, then did a grid search for kotukus. After a couple of minutes it tried to escape again when we it was spooked right at our feet. Kotuku as quick as a flash brings the trusty Escort down and BOOM! Now it would have been easier to just put a foot on it's head as it wasn't going anywhere with a busted wing. He's a generous bugger though as he left it in the wagon for me when I dropped him off on returning. Wasn't too hard to bury the beak in the back yard, as there was little else left of it.
    There are only three types of people in this world. Those that can count, and those that can't!

  3. #3
    Rabbit Herder StrikerNZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    South Canterbury
    Posts
    1,225
    Last year sometime, chasing wallabies with some mates and one of them had just dropped a fallow on a tussock flat, around 200 metres away.

    I made sure to walk a little way in front of the others as we headed around there and went straight to the fallow, which had thankfully fallen between two tussocks. I stood practically over top of it, and had a good look around "Can't see it up here, was it a bit lower down?"

    Continued on with this for several minutes, as the shooter started looking further and further afield, while the rest of the party caught on one by one. Eventually he stopped looking to wonder why we were all laughing so hard.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    BOP
    Posts
    16,712
    We were camped up north, thought it was a good idea to get a mates gruts and shorts and chuck them hi up in a tree, he was pissed looking for them and having to climb the tree to retrieve them while we stood and watched giving him shit. He was not amused, and hit the ground running, I was laughing so hard but took off with him chasing, guess he had last laugh when barefooted I jumped over some pig fern and landed in a big human shit! Geeze getting that out from between my toes wasn't a pleasant task! Wiped the smile off my dial but not Trevs he was pissing himself, certainly had the last laugh!
    7mmsaum and gadgetman like this.
    Boom, cough,cough,cough

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    spreydon christcurch.
    Posts
    4,155
    ah yes gadget -the paul berry mallard incident. no doubt about it gadgets right -i euthanised that wee hen at about 6'range wth a bloody eley 3" #3 12g round which killed her plucked and gutted her in one operation.In the nimble ones very laconic words as we trudged up the track -"shot two, bringing home 1 1/2,does this constitute a full feed?" bloody sure he should have been a QC our gadget.
    Mind you he did take a bit more piss outta me in the moonlight hall that night -for once certain bastards snoring kept me awake-including a bugger from up picton way who seems to luv cuttin wood with a chainsaw minus chain,with a full chorus in support of his efforts .gadget however was snuggled down in his fartsack snufflin like an ol buck possum with arthritis having a snooze. bloody hilarious when he pokes his head out blinks at me and goes "its not you then". with that a young fella across the hall gave us a particularly lurid but brief monologue on his efforts at human reproduction. too much for me =off to the dunnies before i pissed meself. mind you a certain well known dapper F&G official proved a dab bloody hand at cuttina few cords of wood that night too.

    If you ever get a chance to attend "the great moonlight duck hunt" on the immortal westcoast take it -ya'll never forget the experience.
    gadgetman and shift14 like this.

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    BOP
    Posts
    16,712
    Another not so funny incident, it is with hindsight. We camped in a pine plantation at Kaituna, Masterton, were headed into Mount Dagg, I think early next morning. Had our tent set up with sleeping bags, rifles and ammo all inside, mate pumped up a white spirit stove and boom! It bloody exploded, the tent and sleeping bags vapourised and the ffffin pine needles took off! There was a little stream running thru, so we grabbed the cooking pan and billy, shot down to the stream, but spilled most of it on the way back up the fire, it was getting fairly serious! Keystone cops shit this! Then someone grabbed a towel, wet it and started swatting the flames, yes, we all joined in and got it out! Shit we were all shaking, the rifles were mainly untouched, the tent was gone and the bags stuffed, the ammo cardboard boxes were burnt but we had non go off! Good lesson to us all, we headed home about 1am, Mount Dagg waited a while longer! I'd have loved a video, it would have gone viral
    Boom, cough,cough,cough

  7. #7
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Nor West of Auckland on the true right of the Kaipara River
    Posts
    27,838
    Yup there have been many times when I have laughed soo much my ribs hurt.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    spreydon christcurch.
    Posts
    4,155
    GSPfollower&C 404 very early in my goose shooting career , used to take me out to ellesmere to one of GSPF's favourite spots ,nicknamed NATO.
    for some godforsaken reason if there was deep mud round Id bloody find it,and sure as christ made little apples get stuck fast. this day had been extracted twice and coming back from laying out some goose sillos ,decided to take a shortcut-bloody feet slid from underneath me -flat on me back in wet shitty muddy water.
    from Nato comes a bellow like a hereford bull with his balls caught in the electric fence "-FFS stop acting like a cast ewe or ill cut ya f...in throat for dog tucker".
    didnt help hed dropped hisfresh lungbuster in a puddle laughing as i arsed up in front of them! C404 stood there splittin himself.
    mind you couldnt ask for better mates

  9. #9
    Member gadgetman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Christchurch
    Posts
    14,817
    Quote Originally Posted by kotuku View Post
    ah yes gadget -the paul berry mallard incident. no doubt about it gadgets right -i euthanised that wee hen at about 6'range wth a bloody eley 3" #3 12g round which killed her plucked and gutted her in one operation.In the nimble ones very laconic words as we trudged up the track -"shot two, bringing home 1 1/2,does this constitute a full feed?" bloody sure he should have been a QC our gadget.
    Mind you he did take a bit more piss outta me in the moonlight hall that night -for once certain bastards snoring kept me awake-including a bugger from up picton way who seems to luv cuttin wood with a chainsaw minus chain,with a full chorus in support of his efforts .gadget however was snuggled down in his fartsack snufflin like an ol buck possum with arthritis having a snooze. bloody hilarious when he pokes his head out blinks at me and goes "its not you then". with that a young fella across the hall gave us a particularly lurid but brief monologue on his efforts at human reproduction. too much for me =off to the dunnies before i pissed meself. mind you a certain well known dapper F&G official proved a dab bloody hand at cuttina few cords of wood that night too.

    If you ever get a chance to attend "the great moonlight duck hunt" on the immortal westcoast take it -ya'll never forget the experience.
    Too right, a bloody good weekend, with bloody good company. I'd be there again in a heartbeat.
    kotuku likes this.
    There are only three types of people in this world. Those that can count, and those that can't!

  10. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Napier
    Posts
    407
    We were asked to eradicate some geese from a farm north of Napier. I took my .25/06 with 200 rounds to shoot a few. After a couple of hours I had run out of ammo. My best run was 17 without a miss so I just walked along behind my mate, who by the way has since died, to retrieve the birds he shot. A string of about ten birds was flying straight towards us as we huddled in the reeds. Up he stood with his Browning semi- auto shotgun. Bang, a hit. Bang, another and then another. At this point the first deceased bird crashed smack into his face flattening him backwards with shotgun still ready. I dived out of his way and soon realised he wasn't moving. Out like a light. After a few minutes he started muttering that he should have ducked. I just said you mean goosed. He didn't get my joke. Anyway he seemed to recover fairly quickly. I had to tell the story at his funeral a few years later.
    jakewire, Pointer, Dundee and 10 others like this.

  11. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    BOP
    Posts
    16,712
    @garyp you paint a good picture, that was a good laugh!
    sambnz likes this.
    Boom, cough,cough,cough

  12. #12
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Napier
    Posts
    407
    Another amusing incident occurred a couple of years ago on a farm that I regularly hunt with my brother in law. I am allowed to shoot any deer without an ear tag and with hard antler around April because any stag with hard antler would pummel any of the farmers stags which are velveted. Strolling along quietly the back fence I see a very large stag about 50 meters away looking straight at me. Close bolt, line him up when something in my mind said hang on a sec. The stag then slowly stands up and starts walking towards us. He just keeps walking until he pokes his nose through the fence to see if we have any treats for him which we did not. All he got was a pat on the neck and nose. I had to ring the farmer and tell him what just occurred. You didn't shoot him did you? That is Don's pet stag Arnie ( after Arnold Schwarseneger), excuse the spelling. All we said to the stag was you do not know how lucky you are. Every time I go there I now take some apples for him after a friendly pat of course. This year he has 16 magnificent points.
    gadgetman and 223nut like this.

  13. #13
    R93
    R93 is offline
    Member R93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Westland NZ
    Posts
    14,708
    Years ago I was out spotlighting rabbits with a mate. We were having a ball with the plinking rifles.

    We come to a fence and he asked me to hold his rifle while he relieved himself.

    An almighty scream rung out and my mate fell backwards, I was looking at the 2 rifles in my hands in disbelief, thinking he must have been shot but how. I held a torch on him while he was rolling around and piddling all over himself.
    Friggin Towney found out that it's not a good idea to piss on an electric fence😆




    Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk
    Do what ya want! Ya will anyway.

  14. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Middle Earth
    Posts
    2,349
    Today,
    I was in the middle of the bush, expecting some stag to roar a bit.
    At some point , to break up the monotony of the noise of the rain dripping on the canopy , I decided to give it go and blow in my roaring horn to try to awake a local stag.
    I was rewarded 5 seconds later by the ringtone of a text message on my mobile phone . Probably a stag telling me not to bother because he is to far away. Anyway the text message was from a good mate who is single at the moment and who was just in the middle of dating a girl: kind of a roar mood in way :-)
    It was a funny coincidence.

  15. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    spreydon christcurch.
    Posts
    4,155
    The incident with the goose reminds me of another incident with GSPF and his late beloved dog Red.
    Goose shooting again at nato but this time Im holed up in my favourite spot 3 shot pond.Theres a bit of action goin on and from memory it was 2-1 to GSPF
    .Anyhow IM in the throes of makin a brew,and bugger me if a randy young gander dont set his lusty sights on me floater decoys -mouth fulla bikkies ,muttering unmentionables about rude bloody birds ,up with the escort and downed him.
    Now i only had to walk 5 metres or so to grab him,but no, in the doorway appears Red tail a waggin.
    Oh cellphone goes off TXT-"thought youd need a hand to find a bird so far away"
    I sent Red back with a few choice words about the owners breeding.
    Bugger me 15 mins or so later hurtling through th sky comes a plump pair of canadas havin a full scale domestic, the old girl was rippin shit outta the gander who was doin his best to get to hell out of her sight and sound.
    you guessed it; I gave him a sighter then whammo ,he folded and landed right outside me door-seconds later the bark of the 20g -old the bitch had peeled off but came too close and his nibs and Red played fetch.
    Couldnt resist sending him a saracastic message via TXT-but I"ll always remember the comeback-I took sympathy on her shes uglier than you.!
    Hes bloody hard case at times is the mayor of rakaia.
    Last edited by kotuku; 11-04-2016 at 08:14 AM.
    gadgetman likes this.

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. New to Nelson and in need of hunting mates
    By SimmyNZ in forum Hunting
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 24-03-2015, 07:00 AM
  2. Replies: 15
    Last Post: 09-07-2014, 11:14 PM
  3. Enjoying the humour
    By bjroar in forum Introductions
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 30-06-2012, 12:45 AM
  4. Taking the "Boss" hunting
    By Kiwi Greg in forum The Magazine
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 30-04-2012, 09:19 PM
  5. taking hunta hunting
    By shaka in forum The Magazine
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 15-12-2011, 09:00 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Welcome to NZ Hunting and Shooting Forums! We see you're new here, or arn't logged in. Create an account, and Login for full access including our FREE BUY and SELL section Register NOW!!