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Thread: Let's talk about things.

  1. #151
    Member Micky Duck's Avatar
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    keep the lines open bud......one day he may wake up and realise what a dork he has been....it COULD be there is a huge amount of guilt there so he doesnt want to own up to it to himself...I spent 5 years not talking to mine....not a flash time in my life...call him n mum everytime I have any news or to brag if I ve shot a deer,just because I can...one day before too much longer they will be gone and man it TOO PLURRY LATE then.... as for trust issues.you can keep in touch WITHOUT making yourself vunerable .

  2. #152
    Member Max Headroom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by csmiffy View Post
    Not about the drinking but me and my dad-not close. Me south island, him north.
    Wont be either. I've tried, he doesn't. Never met him as more than a toddler until I was 21. Rang him every year for fathers day, birthday etc. he's rung me maybe 6 times in 26 years.
    He never made an effort to meet his only grandkids. I took them up when they were 2 1/2. Came back from aussie for missus 40th. Visited him for a couple of days-grandkids were 5. met them twice in 5 years.
    He came to Australia when I was there but went to a different state and made no effort to see us again. Didn't speak to him for over 5 years because of that.
    Made a bit of a quick decision to finally get married back in NZ. Nearly didn't ring him for an invite but thought better of it. Only 3 months notice.
    Couldn't make it because of a yearly golf tournament that has a waiting list and if he missed out you don't get in the next year. Came down the week after.
    Moved back to nz and rang him at xmas after being here for 2 months.
    No we aren't close.
    End of story really
    Oh did I say I have major trust issues?
    To say that sucks is an understatement.

  3. #153
    CITY BORN COUNTRY RAISED WHEELIN REBEL quadhunter260's Avatar
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    Drinking was a amplifer to issues id been ignoring for far too long more than drinking being the problem per say cheers for the comments fullas

  4. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micky Duck View Post
    keep the lines open bud......one day he may wake up and realise what a dork he has been....it COULD be there is a huge amount of guilt there so he doesnt want to own up to it to himself...I spent 5 years not talking to mine....not a flash time in my life...call him n mum everytime I have any news or to brag if I ve shot a deer,just because I can...one day before too much longer they will be gone and man it TOO PLURRY LATE then.... as for trust issues.you can keep in touch WITHOUT making yourself vunerable .
    I'm a bit too much like him. Don't have the volcanic Viking temper he used to have but I don't forgive easy and sick of chasing him.
    No-one is missing out on anything as he has never been there.
    he does love his grandkids and us but he is shithouse at showing it.
    Micky Duck likes this.

  5. #155
    Member northdude's Avatar
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    maybe its not about forgiving more just accepting how things are everyones different and handles things in different ways possibly something has happened to him a long time ago and hes struggiling inside dealing with it a lot of the old school guys just kept that stuff to themselves and never talked about it fearing they my appear weak by doing so my old man was like that but i dont think it was malicious or a revenge thing or anything like that i have my suspisions what it might of been but he took it to his grave

  6. #156
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    @northdude maybe so but I'm more like him than is good for me. And you are right-that is who he is-no malice or anything, but even excluding him and the rest of his family-his brother whom I get on well with and his kids-my cousins-I never hear from them either-I am the quintessential black sheep and I never even left.
    Just have to face the facts-I'm not a part of it.
    Yup when he is gone, I'll be sad for a bit over the event but then it will be back to what it was like when he was alive.
    Cant talk about this anymore

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by csmiffy View Post
    @northdude maybe so but I'm more like him than is good for me. And you are right-that is who he is-no malice or anything, but even excluding him and the rest of his family-his brother whom I get on well with and his kids-my cousins-I never hear from them either-I am the quintessential black sheep and I never even left.
    Just have to face the facts-I'm not a part of it.
    Yup when he is gone, I'll be sad for a bit over the event but then it will be back to what it was like when he was alive.
    Cant talk about this anymore
    Mate!

  8. #158
    Member northdude's Avatar
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    feel free to pm anytime if you do want to talk or just someone to listen
    Preacher likes this.

  9. #159
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    The last time I saw my dad alive, we ended up in a fist fight over something retarded like a radio station in the car while I was driving him home from the pub.

    My only regret in life is that is my last memory of him alive( died young at 49).

    Make amends if you can because you never know if you will get the opportunity.

  10. #160
    Member Paddy79's Avatar
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    Personally I cant wait to spit on the grave of my father
    sometimes1 likes this.
    Dam right im Pro Guns, Look at History

  11. #161
    Member Max Headroom's Avatar
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    Name:  b6f36acf170972f462d2ab9081295788.jpg
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    gadgetman, Micky Duck and Paddy79 like this.

  12. #162
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddy79 View Post
    Personally I cant wait to spit on the grave of my father
    I have similar feelings about both my parents, selfish both of them

  13. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by northdude View Post
    feel free to pm anytime if you do want to talk or just someone to listen
    @northdude thank you for the offer
    pretty much said it all. probably why I have a chronic lack of self confidence where its needed. look ok from the outside but I do hide it well. I'm just damaged goods. All my success and my mistakes are my own which seems to show up in poor life choices making it harder on myself and my family with periods of self reflection questioning my judgement. Sometimes I can say it was for the best-sometimes not.
    Writing this probably comes across as needy but if I was saying it in person it would be seen as cold.
    But I am a bit more emotional than I let on also-Im the shrek onion- layers
    As posted in other threads its my epic sense of humour that gets me through
    Last edited by csmiffy; 27-10-2018 at 10:20 AM.

  14. #164
    Member northdude's Avatar
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    Sometimes even just writing this stuff down helps might sound a bit gay but when i was going through a bad patch i actually put the stuff into poems and i,think it was a good release things happen for a reason sometimes we dont know what that reason is until further down the track
    gadgetman and Max Headroom like this.

  15. #165
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    @northdude something like "down at bottle creek by the mudflats etc etc with a large bottle of beer in one hand and a smoke in the other?

 

 

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