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Thread: My embarrassing sleep walking episode

  1. #1
    Semper excretia Ryan's Avatar
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    My embarrassing sleep walking episode

    Can't delete post?
    Last edited by Ryan; 17-12-2013 at 12:49 PM.
    Toby likes this.
    "I would rather suffer under imperfect freedom, than languish under perfect control".

  2. #2
    Member Happy's Avatar
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    Ha Ha too late better spill the beans now or we ll be imagining the worst.
    "This is my Flag... Ill only have the one ..

  3. #3
    Semper excretia Ryan's Avatar
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    I've had a propensity for sleepwalking since I was about 10 years old. It doesn't happen very often but when it does it can lead to some some rather awkward moments.

    Once several years ago I was working nights (2200-0600) for about 2 years and one afternoon was woken by my GF at the time (now wife) for "breakfast" / dinner @ 1730. I don't remember waking up but apparently I was heard going to the toilet and then seemingly disappearing. They checked the bathroom and saw the window open and fearing that I'd somehow jumped outside, my GF and flatmate went outside to look for me.

    Not there, check flat mate's room - her bed is covered in stuff, a mirror and various other bits and pieces. Somehow I'd made a nest in the corner and had passed out. My GF shook me awake with a "Hey you're in Kimi's bed" and being completely disorientated I've no clue what is going and now fearing the worst, that I've somehow sauntered into her bed with her in it.

    Thankfully this wasn't the case and everyone had a laugh at my expense.

    Another memorable episode was crashing over at a friend's place - the next morning he asks me if I had a good night's sleep. I'm like "yeah, had awesome sleep why?" Reckons I came into their room during the night while he and his GF at the time were asleep and he woke up to me, crouching down beside him trying unsuccessfully to operate his phone. He quietly escorted me back to the lounge - again, absolutely no recollection and highly embarrassing but thankfully they were forewarned of my sleepwalking tendencies.

    Usually when it happens at home my wife is able to guide me back to bed because I often get stuck in corners and can't figure a way out so scratch at the walls. Sometimes I try and get out the house but the chain on the door always stymies me... Unfortunately this Sunday the door wasn't chained...

    My wife woke up to the front door being opened violently and then heard the sound of splashing liquid. She looked out the curtains and there I was, with a blank look on my face, old fella in hand, completely starkers, taking a leak off the top of the stairs into the garden in full view of the neighbours who were hopefully asleep as it was about 1100 at night.

    She had to go and rescue me and guide me back inside. It's now a standing order that the doors are properly locked and chained each night. If my neighbours are on this forum - I'm really sorry!
    Last edited by Ryan; 17-12-2013 at 01:01 PM.
    DAF, Konev, ishoot10s and 2 others like this.
    "I would rather suffer under imperfect freedom, than languish under perfect control".

  4. #4
    Sending it Gibo's Avatar
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    Bwah ha ha ha!!! Love it

  5. #5
    Member Dundee's Avatar
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    Geeze Ryan ya wife might need to chain you up I think
    "Thats not a knife, this is a knife"
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    CFD

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  6. #6
    Semper excretia Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dundee View Post
    Geeze Ryan ya wife might need to chain you up I think
    I'm kinda thinking that myself!
    "I would rather suffer under imperfect freedom, than languish under perfect control".

  7. #7
    Member Eion's Avatar
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    I'm an instructor on the current TF basic training in Waiouru and boy do the kids do some funny things at night. We had one lad sleep walk over to another lad's bed space climb onto his bed. Not sure if that was an elaborate cover up for frat though? Almost every night someone will be found calling out drill by number; 1, left right, 2. Twice now as the duty NCO I've had the same guy come and knock on my door, report to a NCO, when I ask him in less than polite words what he wants he falls out and doubles back to his room. They're even worse in the field. I tell you, lack of sleep will make you do crazy things.

  8. #8
    Member Happy's Avatar
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    Mates a shocker.. Specially with beers on board. He told me he was caught backing into the hall way cupboard for a poo ... Wait for it ....
    At the outlaws house... ha ha ha
    graham99 and Gibo like this.
    "This is my Flag... Ill only have the one ..

  9. #9
    Almost literate. veitnamcam's Avatar
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    How do you get on in the bush?
    Ever woken up wondering where the Hell ya tent is?
    "Hunting and fishing" fucking over licenced firearms owners since ages ago.

  10. #10
    Semper excretia Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by veitnamcam View Post
    How do you get on in the bush?
    Ever woken up wondering where the Hell ya tent is?
    Thankfully that hasn't happened although after this episode I might handcuff myself to my pack or something. Last thing I want is to go wandering off a precipice or something...
    veitnamcam likes this.
    "I would rather suffer under imperfect freedom, than languish under perfect control".

  11. #11
    Almost literate. veitnamcam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan View Post
    Thankfully that hasn't happened although after this episode I might handcuff myself to my pack or something. Last thing I want is to go wandering off a precipice or something...
    Yea that could be nasty.
    "Hunting and fishing" fucking over licenced firearms owners since ages ago.

  12. #12
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
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    Hobble yourself Ryan. That will stop you.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms

  13. #13
    Almost literate. veitnamcam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rushy View Post
    Hobble yourself Ryan. That will stop you.
    Slash the Achilles tendons or were you thinkin rope?
    "Hunting and fishing" fucking over licenced firearms owners since ages ago.

  14. #14
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by veitnamcam View Post
    Slash the Achilles tendons or were you thinkin rope?
    Nah don't want to hurt him VC. Ryan before you go to bed kneel down and then sit on your feet. Take the belt out of your trousers and fasten it around the thigh and ankle of one leg and then go to bed. If you get up for a sleep walk you will arse up right by your bed and your missus will not have to go far to find you.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms

  15. #15
    Member hawkfish's Avatar
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    My sister used to be a nightmare. In our younger years while still at home my dad once woke to the sound of her walking down the staires and decided to follow her, he found her squatting behing the lounge door having a wee.

    Another famous one was after coming home after a skin full and going to bed, she was found in the bathroom fiddling with the bathroom sink in the early hours. On closer inspection my dad realised she had thrown up in the sink and was poking it down the plughole with his toothbrush!!
    graham99, JoshC, Toby and 1 others like this.

 

 

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