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Thread: South Island lanugage.

  1. #1
    Member stingray's Avatar
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    South Island lanugage.

    After hearing on another threads there seems to be a great deal of confusion for you guys from the NI as to what we mainlanders mean when we usewhen we speak english.

    Now I'm sure this may have caused some embarrassment to a great deal visting North Islanders so for the sake of modesty and good taste please take the time to read through the following before crossing the strait to our fair land.

    1st and most importantly sheep...

    Shearing a sheep is giving it a hair cut, not what you lonely NI lads were hopeing for (sorry).

    Doing a Uy is a Manouver in a Vehicle, not what you NI's all get so excited about.

    Hoggat is again a type of sheep, not what your mate does is he won't shear. Please see above.

    Rooter = is either a dog or a good friend, not some one who is sexualy premiscious.

    Bro = brother

    Cus = cousin

    Sis = Sister

    Mate = Good friend not what we do to each other (can see where you got confused here).

    Gropher = a fish, not an invitation.

    Speaking of fish.

    Brim a snapper under 10lb

    pound (lb) the correct way to weigh or describe the size of a fish / pig.

    Football = soccer

    Rugby = Rugby

    Coaster = someone from the westcoast , not a lazy worker.

    Wood = the correct material for rifle stocks.

    Glacer = valley full of ice (yes really) not a bloke that fix's windows.

    Belt = something we use to hold our pants up with. Please supply one to each of your young blokes who venture forth into our fare land and teach them how to opperate it.

    Boom box = a Large box of fireworks.

    Mrs = a married lady.

    Boy racer = a rare and endangered species of car driving NI'r

    Ice = cold stuff that make roads sliipery.

    Gravel = a road with out any tarseal. (scary but true)

    Dirt track = A type of road , Not a sexual act.

    Off road = what we do in 4wd's, ( yes really , no not by accident).

    4wd = what that funny little lever is for beside your gear shift, used when we are "off road" to gain traction... sigh...no traction controll won't help but thanks for asking.

    Mud = wet dirt that you may get on your vechile from time to time ( if it's really smelly and green, this is most likley cow shit and your mostly driving on gravel incorrectly)

    Cocky = Farmer, the person whom you will most likley to be talking to after you have driven on gravel incorrectly.

    Bull = large , sometimes angry beast mostly to be found in the paddock that you have found yourself in after driving on gravel . Best to be avoided.

    Sheep = wooly animal found in paddocks and on road sides, property of farmers, not to interfered with (please see (1)).

    Fingers = we use our fingers to direct lost tourists and display our displeasure at ignorant drivers.

    sides = east west north south are sides of a compass.

    we only know of .. off side Ie cheating at rugby.

    Navman = used by tourist and NI's to get lost.

    Local = a person used to get tourist and NI's unlost.

    So thats a start, so please keep your pants above your knees and leave your 7mill 08 at home as there is no deer in the south Island. Better still stay north of the strait and join that OPC group you have going up that way as they know were the derz iz.

    best regards Stingray!
    Nil durum volenti !!

  2. #2
    Member stingray's Avatar
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    bloody hell .. proof read you idiot.. bloody 304 error
    veitnamcam and Gibo like this.
    Nil durum volenti !!

  3. #3
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
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    Bloody hell Stingray that is most hospitable of you to try and help us out. When South islanders come North there is only a couple of words that they need to know:

    Stuffed = what you should get

    Back = where you should go.
    Spook, JoshC, stingray and 2 others like this.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms

  4. #4
    Member mikee's Avatar
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    Rushy mate, anything else I should know I'm going to New Plymouth on tuesday for a job.

    I have packed my passport and toothbursh but I am not too sure about all this overseas travel thing!!

    I'm just a simple mainlander and worried I won't understand the locals up there
    P38 and Dynastar27 like this.

  5. #5
    Member JoshC's Avatar
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    Haha rushy. You can have your north island! Haha
    I'm drawn to the mountains and the bush, it's where life is clear, where the world makes the most sense.

  6. #6
    Member stingray's Avatar
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    But Rushy the signs are bad for you guys .... I mean look at your youth's spelling FUK OFF OUR DERZ! OPCz what the??? dear oh dear... look at the state of your parliment, bloody hell , next you will be importing aussie's to playing your league team ......Hell you guys need our help and company worse than I thought.

    Best we come up and help you straighten the place out.
    Nil durum volenti !!

  7. #7
    Member Dynastar27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikee View Post
    Rushy mate, anything else I should know I'm going to New Plymouth on tuesday for a job.

    I have packed my passport and toothbursh but I am not too sure about all this overseas travel thing!!

    I'm just a simple mainlander and worried I won't understand the locals up there
    Don't forget to fill in your arrival card to @mikee
    OPCz

    If in doubt double tap

  8. #8
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikee View Post
    Rushy mate, anything else I should know I'm going to New Plymouth on tuesday for a job.

    I have packed my passport and toothbursh but I am not too sure about all this overseas travel thing!!

    I'm just a simple mainlander and worried I won't understand the locals up there
    Oh shit Mikee you are going to "The Naki". That is a very special part of the North Islander. Even the locals in that area are confused. They have one mountain (volcano really) which has two names which is a very good weather vane. If you can't see it, it is most likely raining and if you can see it it is most likely going to rain.
    mikee likes this.
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms

  9. #9
    Member gadgetman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rushy View Post
    They have one mountain (volcano really) which has two names
    More of a pimple really.
    There are only three types of people in this world. Those that can count, and those that can't!

  10. #10
    Member Ahuroa SC's Avatar
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    "South Island Lanugage"

    Before I even opened this thread I was laughing. Let alone reading what it contained.
    Last edited by Ahuroa SC; 19-06-2014 at 02:31 PM.
    Gibo likes this.

  11. #11
    Member mikee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rushy View Post
    Oh shit Mikee you are going to "The Naki". That is a very special part of the North Islander. Even the locals in that area are confused. They have one mountain (volcano really) which has two names which is a very good weather vane. If you can't see it, it is most likely raining and if you can see it it is most likely going to rain.
    I went there once before years ago, while I was standing out on the balcony of the motel I got to watch 2 young kids (guess 10 or 11) go down the whole street trying the doors of all the parked cars!
    veitnamcam and stingray like this.

  12. #12
    OPCz Rushy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikee View Post
    I went there once before years ago, while I was standing out on the balcony of the motel I got to watch 2 young kids (guess 10 or 11) go down the whole street trying the doors of all the parked cars!
    Yes they do have very young security guards there. Ha ha ha ha
    It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.
    What more do we need? If we are above ground and breathing the rest is up to us!
    Rule 1: Treat every firearm as loaded
    Rule 2: Always point firearms in a safe direction
    Rule 3: Load a firearm only when ready to fire
    Rule 4: Identify your target beyond all doubt
    Rule 5: Check your firing zone
    Rule 6: Store firearms and ammunition safely
    Rule 7: Avoid alcohol and drugs when handling firearms

  13. #13
    Sending it Gibo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahuroa SC View Post
    "South Island Lanugage"

    Before I even opened this thread I was laughing. Let alone reading what it contained.
    Hard to type with no opposable thumb and 11 fingers
    Ahuroa SC likes this.

  14. #14
    Member Happy's Avatar
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    A typical Letter to WINZ In Christchurch

    My name is Cletus and I live in Bromley, and I would like to present before you the following story.

    Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter.



    After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step-daughter.

    My father eventually married her without my authorization..



    As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law.

    My father's wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's mother.



    This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father.



    As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife.



    Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild.



    A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle.



    My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather.

    In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following:



    Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfil the requirements for receiving childcare benefits?

    Sincerely yours,

    Cletus.

    "This is my Flag... Ill only have the one ..

  15. #15
    Member EeeBees's Avatar
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    Thank you, Stingray...as I am half Mainlander I knew most of the lingusitical variants as you have listed, but you have thankfully, added some more.
    ...amitie, respect mutuel et amour...

    ...le beau et le bon, cela rime avec Breton!...

 

 

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