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South african lentils at that "well im not eating blackmen" classic

Man up, smother it in chillies, garlic and ginger then stir fry it. I guarantee you won't notice the tofu

Well i have to admit i have enjoyed it in a Chinese dish called ma po dofu. Pork, tofu, schezhuan pepper, chilli and other stuff.
You can't actually taste the tofu its more for texture rubbery...

No, but add a hipster beard, and craft beer to your tofu and you are nearly there.