Thread: When Possums Attack

Originally Posted by Flyblown

We got into all sorts of shit in Queensland 3 or so years ago. We were camping in some back country bush spot high up on the Divide minding our own business. A delicate flower power hippy woman arrived in her hand painted multicolour slidey-door-irritating-as-fuck-wizz-bang van, and as weirdos always seem to want to do, decided to set up her camp right next to ours. Why the hell do they do that??!! Millions of square KM to choose from and they want to be right next to us. Maybe she found me super attractive. Or maybe she fancied the wife, who knows.

Anyway, we'd been bothered by possums at night that many times I'd grown very weary of them, and was prepared. As soon as the local mongrel fur ball arrived to starting raiding our camp, I was out with the bat, the wife with the Maxtoch torch. She shone the torch in its face, I sent it on a one way trip to the other side of the clearing. And turned round to get back into our swag.

The hippy possum crusader was sitting in the pitch dark outside her van in a meditative trance waiting for the delightful creatures to turn up, which she'd encouraged by leaving fruit around OUR CAMP. She went absolutely mental at us, hysterical. She was in such a state that I feared for my safety! Wasn't worried about the wife, she's pretty staunch, can look after herself. We had to leave the next morning, quite quickly, as this hairy armpitted possum crusader had driven off to find a cell phone signal to report us. Man, she was mad at us.

Anyway, some while later we got a phone call from our mate back in WA who was looking after our mail while we were away. There was a letter from the Dept of Enviro & Science challenging us on the incident, with various demands and threats of punitive outcomes. Which we completely ignored. Can only assume they used the Hilux rego to find us.

Never that good an idea to ignore things official, I suppose, and true as nuts a second letter arrived some several weeks after that, detailing a sworn statement from the dreadlocked one which was utterly hilarious, exaggerated to such an extent I was surprised they'd taken it seriously (hunting possums, evidence of killing several possums, etc etc).

Anyway, by the time that letter arrived we were about to put the truck on the ship in Sydney and come home to NZ. I wrote to the Dept eventually, from NZ, just to make sure there wasn't a chance of a nasty surprise in the future. We claimed ignorance of the law, referencing what possums mean to us in NZ, being a misguided foolish, ignorant twat, very very sorry, only just got the letters... would love to meet the hippy and apologise in person... so very sorry... they let us off eventually with a formal warning and a request that should we be near Dorrigo of all places, we should call into the Department of Fluffy People and receive some education on the matter.

HAHAHAHAHAH-yeah that's just shit funny. Aussies like their possums, or some do anyway.