Questionable Curry - a journey

I put some hare legs in the back of the fridge 10 days ago, i remembered they were there yesterday morning. As an impoverished youth i did the only sensible thing, turn it into the worlds greatest vessel for questionably edible meat, the curry.
For this recipe you will need
Courage
Some stuff
Some things

Place legs in bowl with housemates fancy greek yoghurt (sorry housemate) some lemon juice and a healthy amount of curry powder purchased during the Clinton administration. Leave on the bench, fall asleep and forget about it for 24 hours, when questioned claim it's to make it more tender.
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Great, now whack the legs in the oven on a rack set to 'hotter than satans ballsack' and let it get nice and charred, cos your tandor is in the shop.
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Next put 3 random onions you found at the bottom of the pantry in the food processor and mulch into a paste, after you've finished screaming from the assault on your eyes that has occurred cos your genius ass just put onions in a food processor add to a hot electric fry pan with an artery clenching quantity of butter and a dash of mustard seeds, or if you WEREN'T a dumbass and picked up a new gas bottle, a stove will do i guess. When cooked down nicely and the seeds begin to pop, add two cans of pureed tomatos and a healthy amount of whatever-the-fuck-this-is and cook for a couple more minutes.
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Oh and don't forget the hot sauce for a bit of heat and bacteria annihilation


WHAT THE FUCK YOU MAD CUNT THAT'S TOO MUCH WTF
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It's fine, this is fine, everything is fine, we can still make this work

While you wait for your sauce to cook down and your meat to brown in the oven, occupy your time with an important activity
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Add your sauce to a pot ready in waiting for its meaty friends
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Realize there's too much and return to the pan to reduce for a further 10 minutes, the sauce on your camera is optional
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Speaking of meat, it's done, was done 15 minutes ago, but heat is good and you can't have too much of a good thing so this is probably fine? We're too far down now to turn back
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Return to the pot a second time and add your blacked meat and the reserved marinade to add some delightful creamy notes and to destroy all evidence that housemates yoghurt was used
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Now put the whole thing in the oven at 160 with a lid on it for a few hours until its tender and whatever might have been living in there has probably been destroyed...hopefully


We're nearly there! just got t...FUCKING HOUSEMATE BOUGHT FUCKING BROWN FUCKING RICE GOD FUCKING DAMN FUCK IT ALL
Put FUCKING BROWN FUCKING RICE on to cook and wait approximately 300 million years for it to complete because FUCKING BROWN FUCKING RICE is an affront to all that is good in the world

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Serve hot and then cry a little bit because it's actually fucking delicious and you will never be able to replicate it again.
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Looks bloody good Angus I can feel the burn (exit) all ready

PS: yes brown rice is animal feed at best

Best put a toilet roll in the freezer now?

Mmmmm curry.

That is the funniest thing I've read all day!!! Seriously write a cookbook for flatting in that style, it'd sell like tandoori hare!
Sounds tasty as too

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Funniest original I've read in awhile
Well done Angus

My guts are on fire, dunno if it's the chilli or the botulism

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Originally Posted by Angus_A

My guts are on fire, dunno if it's the chilli or the botulism

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Well if the toilet melts in a couple hours I guess that xtra dash of hot sauce was a dash too much.

Mate after the day I have had it gave me a laugh so well done :)

Glad you all got a chuckle :D, i'm going to sterilise myself with more important activities :yaeh am not durnk:

HAve you seen julia julia? I guess so, pretty good I thought!

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Originally Posted by 40mm

HAve you seen julia julia? I guess so, pretty good I thought!

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I have, she's a role model of mine, for both her cooking and capacity for alcohol.

Cant like it twice unfortunatly.

You should collect all the recipes you have like this and do a cookbook, maybe called the "Suspicious organs and Questionable curry cookbook. Culinary adventures for the adventurous or those that dont give a fuck"

@Angus_A You have to write a cook book, looks like we have a formite competition to name it?

I will buy 10 copies, hell I will be your agent.

I've been writing one for a while actually, kind of a goodbye to the cheffing world, about my struggle with both learning to cook and mental health and how the two played off one another and still do.

great chuckle,my arse is puckering at the thought of the after burn.....faaark I would be bleeding for a week just sniffing a pot full of that brew.

if tour arse looks like a japanese war flag something went wrong

It has begun. Pray for me, i am not long for this world.
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That’s a thread ending photo right there.

Hurry up and finish the book already !
You are very good with the written prose.

Hi Angus,
Guess what, I had another lot of pasta putanesca tonight :-)
The Ras El Hanout literally means " front of the shop " in Maroco.
It is a combination of the most classics spices and there are 100's of recipes for it.

Your hare looks good , I might cook one like that next time I get one.

Funny you talked about your cooking and well being, an ex of mine has started her business back in Paris doing " Cuisine thérapie ", and she seems to be doing alright and enjoying herself.
Looking forward to the next dish.

Good read there....reminded me of myself a bit.

Ever heard of "jugged hare" @Angus_A ? ...My father used to(and still does given a chance) regale myself and friends with his after school job of shooting at least one hare a week which was then hung un skinned or refrigerated until the shotgun pellets fell back out of it from presumably the festering pussy liquids pushing them back out? then it was ready to skin and cook.
Never had the pleasure myself and the story may have been embellished a bit but that is the yarn.

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Originally Posted by Angus_A

It has begun. Pray for me, i am not long for this world.
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It's botulism for sure. Your f'ed.

Never had a exit reaction to any thing. Except oyster and that not so much the sitting down, it's being in the same room. I gas up on them for sure. Love eating them though...

The chilli's, I'm a mid weight (maybe punch above my actual weight) I do like a bit of heat, but not to the extent of not tasting the meal.



And write the cook book!
(Simple language too please...)

Botulism is a anaerobic thing from no/low oxygen environments like home bottling experiments. Not from things just sitting in the back of the fridge.

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Originally Posted by Friwi

Hi Angus,
Guess what, I had another lot of pasta putanesca tonight :-)
The Ras El Hanout literally means " front of the shop " in Maroco.
It is a combination of the most classics spices and there are 100's of recipes for it.

Your hare looks good , I might cook one like that next time I get one.

Funny you talked about your cooking and well being, an ex of mine has started her business back in Paris doing " Cuisine thérapie ", and she seems to be doing alright and enjoying herself.
Looking forward to the next dish.

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Awesome dude, i'm quite surprised honestly that that particular recipe has been such a hit with people.
Oh really? I bought some ages ago without really thinking what i was gonna do with it, just smelled divine.
That's so cool, i've found that my cooking has always been reflective of my mood, overall i think cooking has been beneficial to my mental health because being a person who never really succeeded in anything at school it was a confidence boost later in life to know i was good at something. Having said that becoming a chef was probably one of the worst decisions i ever made for my mental health, i'm glad i did it because it's all just part of my story but i'm very surprised i survived and lasted as long as i did.
Next dish will be a serious recipe i promise haha.

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Originally Posted by veitnamcam

Good read there....reminded me of myself a bit.

Ever heard of "jugged hare" @Angus_A ? ...My father used to(and still does given a chance) regale myself and friends with his after school job of shooting at least one hare a week which was then hung un skinned or refrigerated until the shotgun pellets fell back out of it from presumably the festering pussy liquids pushing them back out? then it was ready to skin and cook.
Never had the pleasure myself and the story may have been embellished a bit but that is the yarn.

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I have heard of jugged hare, that's a really oldschool way of cooking, from what i remember it's got something to do with marinading meat in an alcohol of some sort.
Haha oh no the old english style of hanging, i know some british lads who hang theirs for days with the guts and all still intact, pretty foul.

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Originally Posted by Angus_A

I have heard of jugged hare, that's a really oldschool way of cooking, from what i remember it's got something to do with marinading meat in an alcohol of some sort.
Haha oh no the old english style of hanging, i know some british lads who hang theirs for days with the guts and all still intact, pretty foul.

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Yep thats the one!
I think even Dad (who is as old school as anyone I know) wasn't keen on it.

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Originally Posted by veitnamcam

Yep thats the one!
I think even Dad (who is as old school as anyone I know) wasn't keen on it.

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Supposedly there's some theory to it involving enzymes or some shit but i'm personally not comfortable with it. Waste of a perfectly good set of kidneys.

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Originally Posted by Angus_A

Supposedly there's some theory to it involving enzymes or some shit but i'm personally not comfortable with it. Waste of a perfectly good set of kidneys.

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I dont doubt it would be tender but um yea....when things smell bad it is telling you not to eat it I recon....like rotten corn or crayfish.....never been around the rotten crayfish myself but can imagine it....corn is bad enough!

So you survived the questionable curry then Angus?

I did, i even got a real nights sleep and woke up at a reasonable time for the first time in weeks. Scoffed down the leftovers for lunch today.

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Originally Posted by berg243

obviously you didn't go through a lot of bog paper since you where keen enough for a second round of the squits.:thumbsup:

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That which don't kill ya makes ya stronger.
The young gentleman obviously has a healthy immune system

Waste not want not

Time for possum recipes Angus. I want possum recipes with the same awesome write up :thumbsup: would go good in your book!

@Angus_A would it work ok with stag?

Of course! Curry makes everything better

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Originally Posted by Pointer

Time for possum recipes Angus. I want possum recipes with the same awesome write up :thumbsup: would go good in your book!

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I shot 3 tonight for just that, kentucky fried possum is a strong possibility. Unfortunately all big stinky boys, the plot i have access to isn't so great. So if anyone wants to donate some good not too old female possums to the cause hit me up :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by outdoorlad

@Angus_A would it work ok with stag?

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Don't see why not, wouldn't use any of the good cuts though, good way to use up your scraps.