Thread: Concerned

Originally Posted by Tussock

Happiness is a cocktail of chemicals. In the poor bastards head, there are none. What seems like one of the least physical of illnesses (depression) is actually one of the most physically controlled, and the simplest. He has had a traumatic experience and its thrown all his brain chemicals out of kilter. The old addage "snap out of it" is pure nonsence. You cant magic serotonin into existence. He feels like hes sinking into a pit, and its because all the happy drugs our body naturally produces have crashed.

He thinks hes gone mad. DO NOT CONFIRM IT FOR HIM! If you took something from my gun cupboard you would ask first. Be sure to extend him the same courtesy. By just taking them, your telling him he cant be trusted. He will already be filled with shame and thinking everyone thinks he is a weirdo as it is. All for something about as medically interesting as anemia and just as common.

Iv seen a few mates treated for minor to major psychological issues and they were all treated with relative ease by the doctors. The actual chemical imbalances were fixed like a bacterial infection. The social stigma scarred them for life. Mates treated them like they had an arm growing out of their foreheads.

Learn a bit about it. John Kirwan was brave enough to be the face of the website, so the least people can do is read it. Depression. The poor bloke has a simple, but horrific illness. All your thoughts and feelings are the result of chemicals. A big dose of those chemicals will make you feel like your on the top of the world. Such an injection would come from say, shooting your dream stag. You would be on a cloud for a week. The lingering effects of chemical high induced by the event. Such a buz can be self perpetuating, you have a good week, do more cool things and everything is on the up. Its all chemically induced and controlled. Real, and healthy.

Likewise, a traumatic event or family upheaval can cause those chemicals to plummet. We all have bad days, but if its bad enough, you end up with a major deficit. The chemicals = happy are not there. Your short on energy, things start going worse, and it can be a downward spiral. Your walking around right now (I hope) with a certain sense of well being. Its rare we think about it, but that sense of well being is nothing more than a background level of a bunch of chemicals. Its no more complicated than having not enough iron in your blood. Imagine if your background level of those chemicals was low. There goes your sense of well being. You would have a constant and unexplainable feeling that everything is not Ok.

Leave the advice and the counseling to the head shrinkers. You can do just as much if not more, by really doing very little. First, treat him like he is absolutely normal (because he is). Act like its nothing major, and try and give the impression you dont think its anything to be ashamed of (cos it isnt). Society is telling him he is a lepper. You need to show him otherwise. Then treat him like a troubled dog. No, Im not being nasty. Exercise and distraction. If a dog was fixated on some negative cycle of behavior, I would distract it, and so, without it noticing it could be introduced to a new cycle of behavior. Chuck an old wreck in the back yard and make him fix it. Whatever. Make sure he is constantly occupied. Tell him not to stay with his kids like that again. Kids are a great distraction. Tell him to do other things with them.

Exercise is even better. Proper physical exhaustion, means he will crash at night. He wont be able to stew, he will collapse and fall in to a deep, and very healthy sleep. Exercise causes big fat doses of those chemicals he is sorely lacking, as well as general health. Get him out on the hill as much as you can. Go for runs. Wont hurt you either.

Mate of mine had a breakdown. His mother, who is a nurse in her 60s, biked 20-40ks a day, every day, making her son run alongside her (hes a good runner) every day, for months. If she can do it, anyone can.

Thats my 2 cents worth.

Thanks for that info, it is good to know that there are people who understand. Unfortunately for me this is what I suffer from and have been getting it sorted for a couple of years now each day gets better I do things to keep my mind occupied. Yeah I have heard the old get over it and carry on with life bullshit, and that is because those who go around saying that stuff to a person with this kind of illness does not understand at all because they have never seen it. All I can say to those who have a go at people because of they way they are get to know them properly before you judge them.