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[QUOTE=R93;98201]Rubber band is sorted SiB. Now what do I do about this stain running along my guts?=QUOTE]

just rub some talcum powder on it mate.

just put a rubber band around the end of it, and no more dribbles. Who needs a urologist when we've got H&S forum - we'll cure all your ills . . . . . . oh. oh I thought you meant . . . . .

I recall goats used to carry the human variant of syphylis - introduced as a 'control measure'. Not sure what you'd get off a hind. Angry stag?

Stick to collecting pregnant-mothers-pee. I'm sure...

focus on getting that collecting jar around the wards and you'll be right mate . . . .

You don't need jackets Toby!

You can buy little spray bottles - bottle it and package it as "Toby's Secret Scent - make that stag love you".

Trade Me here we come! - I can see little displays...

No walking necessary mate.

You could have tried from your bed - page a nurse, have them bring the preggers Moms to visit you. Simply have a commode chair by your bed for them as they sit to talk...

We could hear it thundering up the alley-way of bright ideas that are incredibly entertaining to watch.

Don't disappoint us!

your silence Toby makes me worry you're scurrying round those hospital corridors as we speak, 'she-wee' in hand, jacket in t'other.

Do remember it's considered bad form to cut catheter lines and...

Toby I do have this mental image of you having a sincere hand-holding quiet moment with your sister as you ask her to pee on your jacket, or even wear it in the birthing suite for you. Don't forget...