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Guilty as charged! Though to be honest I'd probably hope he would approach me in a menacing manner. Any excuse to disarm him as I've been looking for a nice operable scythe for years; just so hard to...

I'm a fan of the bit of candle and inner tube trick. Usually use a lighter to start the fire, and have a spare in the medical kit.

On the bright side, ... I suppose things can only get better.

The Mrs might need to send you off in bubble wrap next time. Good work though.