Thread: A Cautionary Tale

i worked for a French geezer in Silverdale on a dairy farm, around the time of the Rainbow warrior sinking ( yes I gave him shit about it), anywho he told me that some old French vineyard guy used to put wheatgerm in the 12 G shells to shoot poachers etc... He reckoned that the wheat germinated and would send out little roots making it a bastard to get out of their legs, arse etc....
He also said they used to get a bull cock and hang a bucket of water on it ( after it was out if the bull so he says ) and over a few month would twist it as it dried. Reckoned it made a great stock stick ( or should that be stock dick ).

My grandfather born in the 1800's had a walking stick made out of a bulls penis,looking at it you would never have guessed what it was made of.Don't know where it is now.

Originally Posted by Husky1600

A few years back......well actually a lot of years back, back when I was a teenager. We lived only five minutes from the river and as teenagers a heap of us would bike down to the river at any opportunity, to go fishing, or swimming, or chatting' up chicks etc etc. There was a farm next door to the public access to the river and some of the guys use to wander across the paddocks to get better/quicker access to some of the better fishing holes. Said farm often had a few cows or occasional bulls in the paddock. The old fella that farmed it was a grumpy old prick and didn't take lightly to young fella's wandering across his paddock. One afternoon he had had enough and came storming out with the classic side by side shotty, up and lets strip. This happened a few times over then next weeks until one of me mates copped a load right across the back of the thighs, lots of little holes that quickly started to sting, and then sting a lot. Off home to his Mum, and asked her to check it out, and she was able to extract a number of little pieces of coarse rock salt! Poor old mate had a pretty sore for a couple of days as the salt took that long to dissolve, leaving him with a nice scattering of little scabs all over the backs of his thighs. We never went back through those paddocks again.

Worked with a guy who got similar treatment.
He was wandering into land to pick interesting mushrooms. Saw the farmer - started running, boom..... he said he hit the ground, dropped his pants and was frantically scrapping his rear along the earth to get the salt out. Reckoned it was like being hit by a swarm of bees.